Superpowers: Episode 05

A couple of weeks back, I got to attend a Penya concert at the Museum. For those who don't know, Penya is a Nairobi-based based record label, home to (among others) Dela, Sauti Sol, Stan, Muthoni and Just a Band.

Anyway, the concert seemed to highlight everything I hate and love about record labels.

The Good of Record Labels:

When a band is it's own record label, the largest portion of time goes towards managing the gig. You make your own posters. Send out the advertisements. Harass your family and friends who owe you favours to show up. Beg random people off the street to come in for free. And then, you're checking. Is there power? Did the sound guy show up? Where is my guitar? Is it in tune? Where is the drummer? What's the song list?

By the time we get on stage, we're usually tired, frazzled, annoyed at each other, and whatever make-up we had on is falling off in large, unattractive chunks.

If, on the other hand, a band gets signed to a label the process is simpler: The artistes arrive. The artists do sound checks. The artists get to chill out and get adored by their fans. The artists play their set. And then, there's a party while the roadies pack up the drums and sound equipment.

Really, it seems like it must be awesome to not have to worry about crappy sound, crappier venues and no advertisement for shows.

The Ugly of Record Lables

Here was the show line up.

1. Just a Band
2. Muthoni
3. Stan
4. Dela
5. Sauti Sol

Now, don't get me wrong, since I'm actually a HUGE fan of Sauti Sol, but sometimes, I get the feeling that the other artists get sacrificed at the altar of Sauti Sol. I guess that their reasoning is that since Sauti Sol are the biggest earner, the other artists will forever remain curtain raisers for Sauti Sol? Plus, how good can this be for Sauti Sol either? At the Love Is Show, Sauti Sol finally got on stage at 1.30 am, at a show that started at 9pm. (AFter people had been standing around since 7pm, waiting for the show to begin).

So for 4.5 hours, people had been on their feet, in the cold, dancing, etc. By the time Sauti Sol got on stage, a couple of my pals had given up and gone home.

I braved the cold. The exhaustion. Slight deafness due to my position near the speakers. Alplha's performance. (Which actually wasn't bad. It's just that by that time, I was tired, and wanted to listen to "Nairobi" and Alpha just kept singing).

Then, finally, when Sauti Sol arrived on stage and began...

I fell asleep.

In the cold. Standing up. With the speakers blaring right next to me. And surrounded by shrieking fans. While Sauti Sol performed.

So yeah, I can sleep through anything.

Lovely super-power that one :-)

NB. If a major record label offers, I'm SO THOROUGHLY selling out and signing on.
NB2. These may not be the views of the rest of the band though.
NB3. I categorically state that I have never slept through a performance by Bloodshed, they're awesome.

Superpowers: Episode 04

Nothing prepared me for the fights.

If you google "Bands", the internet offers lots of information. How to start a band. How to play the harmonica. How to practice. How to get gigs. How to perform at gigs. How to write songs. How to record songs. How to copyright your songs. Qualities to look for in a pair of drumsticks...

I'm an information junkie, so as Murfy's fLaW was plodding around, being a band, I was pretty confident that I was prepared for every aspect of the rock and roll lifestyle.

No one warned me about the fights.

Last year, Oasis announced they were breaking up. From wikipedia:

On 28 August 2009, a fight broke out between the Gallaghers in a backstage area which resulted in Liam breaking Noel's guitar.

Two hours later a statement from Noel appeared on the band's website writing that "with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight. People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer."

So, the moral of this little story, dear reader, is that if you join a band you are going to fight.

These fights will lead to the breaking of guitars, hearts, lifelong friendships and the band. The only way you can prevent this from happening is to have someone with the super-power of Peace Making in the band.

• Someone with the courage to swoop down in the middle of the most bitter arguments, bearing wonderful things like clear rational thinking.


• Someone who also knows when clear, rational thinking just isn't enough, and then bribes you with cheap wine, Chinese food, or stories about "what the dog did yesterday".


• Someone who knows when bribes won't work, and uses her drum sticks to literally batter you back onto the right path.

And suddenly, there is sunshine again.

Thank God for Vicky.

Superpowers: Episode 02

Remember how, back when you were a brownie, (or a scout, or a ranger, or whatever random thing it was), and they'd take you on camping trips and expect you to start a fire using two sticks? Or flint stones? Remember how it was impossible? Remember how there was always some showoff kid who could manage to do it?

Well, Reema is the equivalent of that show off kid. Only, instead of starting fires, she starts parties.

I hear she once started what ended up being a week-long soiree with nothing more than a piece of string and a marker.